We’re already over a year into this pandemic and things are just starting to get under control (They are, right???). Vaccinations are being distributed, and it seems like many places are opening up again. Hopefully, life will be back to normal before we know it. Of course, we should still remain cautious and be vigilant in our efforts to protect ourselves and others. If that means taking a trip to the doctor’s office, do it! Below, however, are a few people you might not want to see. Here are my Top Ten Evil Doctors in video games!

Before we get into it, I’d like to give a special thanks this week to my friend Mandikat who contributed her own writing for my #8 pick. Thank you so much, Mandikat!

10)Dr. Lugae from Final Fantasy 4 (SNES 1991)

Taking a page from Full Metal Alchemists’s Shou Tucker, Dr. Lugae is also interested in experimenting on people and creating chimeras. I was always amused by this battle because of how clearly it references the traditional Frankenstein characters. His creation, Balnaba (later changed to “Barnabas” in newer updates of the game), seemingly has the same brainpower as the classic monster, attacking anything that he sees – including Dr. Lugae himself. Once the robot is defeated, Lugae hops inside and attempts to use the last shred of his work to defeat the party – only to be blown up by the faulty mechanics. Serves him right for trying to make a monkey out of people (literally)!

9)Dr. Fred Edison from Maniac Mansion (Commodore 64/Apple II 1987)

Before he was sending people through time in an attempt to stop a sentient purple tentacle from taking over the world, Dr. Fred Edison was kidnapping cheerleaders to experiment on them in his basement using his Zom-B-Matic machine. Apparently, according to the original NES instruction manual, Dr. Fred is a “‘retired’ physician turned mad scientist.” The only thing more maddening than Fred’s medical license is the fact that there was a TV series based loosely on the game that aired between 1990 and 1993. Check out the Season 1 intro below. Can you tell that the original creators had no hand in this at all?

8) Dr. Caligosto Loboto, DDS from Psychonauts (PC/Xbox/PS2 2005)

Written by Mandikat:

Dr. Loboto is one of the lead antagonists in Psychonauts. Because he is an ex-dentist (as one can surmise from the DDS at the end of his name), it should come as no surprise to us that when he sees a medical problem, it is his inclination to remove it. And so, when he decides that many of his patients at Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp have “a serious mental problem,” he addresses this problem the only way he knows how: by removing their brains! His methods are unorthodox, but they aren’t terribly invasive: he grinds black pepper in front of his patients’ noses and they sneeze their craniums empty! Dr. Caligosto Loboto is an enemy to all thinking folk, but based on the results of the work he did at Whispering Rock, I imagine his work on a grand scale may be fantastic for the TV and Hacky Sack industries.

7)Dr. Zemu from Twisted Metal: Head-On (PSP 2005)

::SPOILER AND LONG EXPLANATION ALERT:: Ah, Twisted Metal – a series where a demonic madman named Calypso holds a contest where people drive around in souped-up vehicles loaded with heavy artillery in an attempt to be the last one standing. If you win the competition, you’re granted any wish that you desire. One competitor, Axel, had his arms bound permanently by his father between two giant wheels, forced to roam the world in the strange contraption. When he won the events of Twisted Metal 2, he wished to face his father again and proved his strength by physically ripping his arms free from the machine, leaving just the bloody stumps where his arms once were attached. In the 2005 PSP sequel, Twisted Metal: Head-On, Dr. Zemu created bionic metal limbs to replace Axel’s arms so Axel could compete again – this time for world peace. However, his quest backfires and upon winning the events a second time, Dr. Zemu stops Axel from wishing for peace at the very last moment by trapping him back in the machine and blasting him with an electric shock. Axel, attempting to make his wish, manages only to say, “I… wish… for… peace…… ahhhhhhhh!!!” before being electrocuted. Meanwhile, a nearby Calypso snickers. “Peace….ah?” he questions. “Peach…ah,” he says again. “Your wish for pizza is granted!” With a wave of his hands, a green light is discharged, and a pepperoni pizza floats down out of thin air. Zemu tells him that he’ll consider releasing Axel if he wins next year’s Twisted Metal contest…and then offers Axel a slice of his pizza.

6)Dr. Hanz Dis from Aero the Acrobat 2 (SNES 1994)

Little did Aero know that when he knocked the evil Edgar Ektor off the top of the Museum of Horrors, Zero the Kamikaze Squirrel was waiting on the ground to catch the crazy clown. Hellbent on controlling all the circuses in the world, Ektor tells Zero to “prepare a ‘Plan B’.” Dr. Dis is part of this plan. Not only does he create an “Alter Aero” clone to keep our hero busy, he also kidnaps the devious double agent Batasha as a ploy to distract Aero. Dr. Dis guards Dr. Dis Industries, which is world 5 of Aero the Acrobat 2. When Aero finally comes face to face with the mad scientist, he must attack Dis’s machines from below while the doctor operates a series of computers from above. After defeating him, Aero learns it was all a trick, and Batasha is long gone.

5)Doctor Shemp from Spyro the Dragon (PSX 1998)

“This guy thinks he’s so cool. You don’t know what it’s been like listening to him over and over. But, I’ll tell you one thing… He should watch his back!” says Trondo the Dragon after releasing him from his imprisonment. Then, Spyro jumps up on the ledge to meet Doctor Shemp himself. “Haaaa!” he wails while waving his staff. I love that despite this character being such a weird variation from the typical human doctor, he still retains the look of the mad scientist: wavy white hair, a white overcoat, and flip flops. Well, one thing is for sure. Trondo was right. Shemp thinks he’s so cool – but three shots of flames on the face says differently!

4)Dr. Mook from Super Bomberman (SNES 1993)

We’ve reached the part of the list where the Doctors have to ride inside or atop fancy pieces of machinery in order to be a threat to their adversaries. Following in the wake of games that simply added the word “Super” to their title (I’m looking at you, Super Castlevania), Super Bomberman is actually the fourth game in the series, and it is the first game to not utilize the Black Bomberman as the main antagonist. That role is filled by Dr. Mook and his companion, Carat Diamond. In their thirst to build even stronger and more chaotic robots, they decide to hold a Robot Tournament with machines capable of great destruction. In an attempt to further their efforts, they create a fake Bomberman to capture the White Bomberman, hoping to steal his advanced powers. However, their plans go astray when a strange twist of fate occurs… Black Bomberman shows up to stop them! With White Bomberman now free, both heroes decide to join up to save Peace Town and rid the world of Dr. Mook and Carat Diamond. Anyway, it’s not like any of us would have known that – we were too busy playing the battle mode.

3)Dr. Neo Periwinkle Cortex from Crash Bandicoot (PSX 1996)

I was today year’s old when I learned that Crash Bandicoot and his girlfriend Tawna were the products of Dr. Neo Cortex’s “Evolvo-Ray,” which he used to try to create an army of genetically-altered wildlife with the intent of taking over the world. Before Crash could be brainwashed and welcomed into the ranks of Cortex’s army, he is punished for showing his love of Tawna by being thrown out to the ocean. Tawna is then captured by Cortex to be used in place of Crash. Upon washing up on an island, Crash sets out to collect a million apples, wear some Aku Aku masks, and Hooda-bugga his way back to Cortex’s airship in order to rescue his lady.

2)Dr. Robotnik from Sonic the Hedgehog (Sega Genesis 1991)

I already talked a bit about the origins of Dr. Robotnik in my Nosevember article, but he is definitely worth mentioning again here. Do you remember that one time when Dr. Robotnik tried to capture the residents of Beanville and turn them into robots so he could rid the planet Mobius of “music and fun forever?” Yeah! Dr. Robotnik’s only starring role in a game was a 1993 Puyo Puyo clone called Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine for the Sega Genesis. Honestly, there should be a whole series of puzzle games starring classic video game villains. Just imagine… Bowser’s Block Busters, King K Rools Rock Ravagers, King Dedede’s Dots Dots Dots, Mother Brain’s Brain Teasers… I think I’m onto something here.

Honorable Mentions:

Andross from Star Fox (Super Nintendo 1993)

Dr. Nefarious from Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal (Playstation 2 2004)

Dr. Machino from Awesome Possum… Kicks Dr. Machino’s Butt (Sega Mega Drive/Genesis 1993)

I don’t usually write descriptions for the honorable mentions, but I just want to point out that when you beat Dr. Machino, a choir can be heard singing the lyrics “Awesome Possum kicks Dr. Machino’s butt.” Afterward, Awesome Possum proceeds to do exactly that followed by him saying “I’m awesome!” Then, America decides to honor the courageous possum by placing his face on the side of Mt. Rushmore.

1)Dr. Albert Wily from Mega Man (NES 1987)

If you know anything about me, then you certainly knew that Dr. Wily would be at the #1 spot on my list! Antagonist to Mega Man in over 15 games ranging from the Gameboy all the way to the Switch (including a soccer game!), Dr. Wily (or Wahwee as he is known in Mega Man 8) is the grifter who keeps on giving. One of my favorite appearances of the devilish doctor might come as a surprise to you. In 2010 , filmmaker Eddie Lebron released a live-action movie of Mega Man. It was not well received…BUT I was thrilled to see this story come to life even at the hands of someone unrelated to Capcom. Honestly, I had a lot of fun watching it, and a big part of that fun came from Dave Maulbeck’s performance of Dr. Wily. He absolutely dominates every scene that he is in and perfectly brings to life a character we had only known to wiggle his eyebrows or grovel on the floor in the video games. If you’re a Mega Man fan and have a spare hour and a half, check out the movie for free on YouTube. Perhaps you’ll at least enjoy Maulbeck’s acting as much as I did.

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