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Step-ember: Movement in Games

Being a visual art form, one of the first things you’ll notice when playing a game is how your character moves while you control them. Are they zooming through a level like Sonic the Hedgehog? Can you imagine the ground shake as you land a jump with Donkey Kong? Maybe you feel the lightness of your hang glider while soaring through a stage in Pilotwings. These animations can help you to feel connected to your character. So, when something looks weird, you take notice! This month, take a walk with me while we explore the top ten games that may or may not have the moves.

10) Kablooey (SNES 1990)

Player one, get ready.

Before we even get started, take a look at the original title and cover art for this game:

What happened!? How did we go from this explosive-obsessed super villain to a blue blob with googly eyes and a single tooth? Kablooey was one of the weirdest games I ever had the pleasure of owning as a child. As you wobble across an isometric grid, you must strategically set off different-sized bombs without blowing up yourself or walking off into the void. It’s a simple puzzle game, and the animation never really bothered me… However, the music is atrocious. I know this is an article about animations, but I *have* to talk about this music. As you begin each stage, an electronic female voices tells you, “Player One, get ready.” Then, a hyper-active drum kit fills into a repetitive bass groove while a synthesizer pads the music with held chords. After looping for some time, the voice suddenly comes back. “Get get get get get get get. Get get get ready. Get get get ready. Ready ready. Get. Ready. Get ready.” When I heard this for the first time, I seriously thought my game was broken. Is that really the music? The music NEVER changes the entire game and this….breakdown…completely ruins the flow of what’s supposed to be a slow-paced puzzle game. Years later, I looked up the game on YouTube just to make sure that it wasn’t just my copy. Nope, that’s just the way it is.

Get ready at 3:10.

9) Road Runner (NES 1989)

Don’t ACME, bro.

Tengen, the maker of Road Runner, was known for making unlicensed games for the NES (i.e. they didn’t have the official Nintendo “seal of approval,” and they used a special chip in order to actually make games playable on the system). You could recognize a Tengen game immediately because of their black, rounded cartridges that stood apart from Nintendo’s grey cartridges. Needless to say, there were court cases. We won’t get into it.

I always loved the Road Runner cartoons as a kid. I secretly always rooted for Wile E. Coyote and thought certainly that the Road Runner would eventually be caught. When our family rented the Road Runner game on NES, I thought for sure that I might have my chance! But…after popping it in, I quickly learned that I wasn’t playing as Wile E. Coyote. I was the Road Runner trying to flee the grasp of the cunning canine. Accompanied by a soundtrack that included classical pieces like the “William Tell Overture,” “Flight of the Bumblebee,” and “Sabre Dance,” Road Runner’s movement mimicked exactly how he was pictured on TV with his legs forming a circular blur of motion. Except….in the game, he really didn’t move that quickly. And, you are constantly forced to go out of your way to collect “seed” so you don’t….die from starvation? Most notably, instead of moving from left-to-right like EVERY GAME EVER, Road Runner moves from right-to-left. Why?! Even in the cartoon, the characters are generally depicted as moving to the right (exhibit A: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jd_41tM6H2Y). More annoying yet is that your character only scrolls the screen when he is nearly all the way to the left edge of the picture, leaving little room to avoid oncoming obstacles. It seems the animation is about the only thing the developers actually got right.

8) Summer Games (Atari 2600 1984)

Go for the Gold!

Ah, the Atari 2600. Those were the days. All you needed was a joystick and a single button for hours of endless entertainment. I remember playing Summer Games with my sister (and being highly competitive about it). My favorite event was the sprinting competition because it involved waggling the joystick in every direction as fast as possible (predating joystick-destroying Mario Party games by 14 years!). It was the only game that actually made me feel like I had run 100 yards after I had finished playing it. I loved that most all of the events incorporated some sort of clever control scheme to match the animation. In rowing, you’d move the control from left and right to match the motion of the oars. In swimming, you’d time your button presses with the arm of the athlete to increase your speed. During the vault event, you’d rotate the joytsick to correspond with the circular swinging motion of your fellow olympian. In a world where most 2-player Atari games involved either spaceships or simply passing the controller off every other death, Summer Games was a welcome change of pace.

7) Karate Champ (Arcade 1984/NES 1986)

Begin! Point!

What do you get when you take a mediocre arcade game and try to port it to the Nintendo Entertainment System? Complete trash! The NES version of Karate Champ is clunky, awkward, and slow. The controls were so bad that….well, if you look at the screenshot above, that foot sweep made by Mr. Purple was the only consistent move that I could accomplish. Furthermore, it was nearly impossible to get your character to turn around so if you ever somehow ended up on the other side of your opponent, then good luck trying to face the other direction. Not to mention, the more enjoyable mini-games from the arcade game were not included in the NES port. I’m pretty sure we acquired this game for $5 at a thrift sale just down the street. My friends and I would spent about 10 minutes with it before the frustration kicked in. We’d be better off battling with our Lego men.

6) Cool Spot (SNES 1993)

Get cool, boy.

Coming in at #2 of Top Two games based on soda is Cool Spot (#1 being, of course, Pepsiman). Did you know this game had a plot? According to the original SNES manual, “SPOT and his friends, SPOT, SPOT, SPOT, SPOT, SPOT, SPOT, SPOT, SPOT, SPOT, SOPT, and SPOT are in trouble and they need help…FAST!” It goes on to say, “For years, Wild Wicked Wily Will has been trying to capture a real life SPOT to prove to the world that they really do exist. (Up to date, they have never been ‘spotted’!)” I’m positive we never see Wild Wicked Wily Will in the game. We need to know more about THIS guy! I always appreciated the way Spot would saunter around as if he’s the hippest cat in the club. And then when he stands still, his idle animation is for him to snap along to the beat of the soundtrack. I mean, the game opens with Spot surfing on a 7up bottle to a midi version of “Wipeout.” We only ever rented this game, but I definitely enjoyed my time with it.

5) Lester the Unlikely (SNES 1994)

I totally have that hoodie.

Watching this game gives me a backache. Upon looking up Visual Concepts, who developed Lester the Unlikely, I noticed that they’ve delved heavily into the sports genre since 1996 and have stuck with it even to this day. Interestingly, they’ve made some other pretty great games like ClayFighter and Claymates. But then again, they also made incredibly mediocre games like the Nickelodeon Guts game. It’s unlikely that anyone would ever want to play Lester the Unlikely. It controls like a Prince of Persia game but stars a teenage dweeb who gets lost on an island after accidentally being loaded onto a cargo ship that becomes hijacked by pirates. I’m pretty sure the last type of character I want to control is one that identically matches my 13-year-old self. Get out of here, Lester!

4) Laverne from Day of the Tentacle (Mac OS/PC 1993)

Lets do the time warp again.

Described as a “deranged medical student,” Laverne attempts to return to her own time from a future where purple tentacle has successfully taken over the world. I’ve already talked extensively about Day of the Tentacle in my Blarch article, but since playing this game over break last Thanksgiving, I still can’t praise it enough. Laverne stands out from Bernard (your typical nerd) and Hoagie (a music roadie). Every word spoken seemingly comes from an empty shell of a mind, and she is fascinated with the bizarre. In the scene below, she becomes excited at the thought of being cut open by her tentacle doctor and even offers her own scalpel for the process. Her walk reminds me of a child who constantly has a nursery song stuck in their head and thus, they can’t control their body while they dance their way to the nearest object that catches their attention. Of course, this animation fits the B-movie tone of the game perfectly. Fun fact: Laverne was actually based on an ex-girlfriend of one of the developers. I wonder why they broke up…

3) Toejam & Earl (Sega Genesis 1991)

We got the funk.

The early 90’s was a weird time to be alive. The first live-action Ninja Turtles movie came out in 1990. Ren & Stimpy joined Nickelodeon along with The Adventures of Pete & Pete in 1991. Meanwhile, Bryan Adams was topping the pop charts with “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You.” And then we have Toejam & Earl – a game starring alien rappers who roam the Earth(?) to recover the wreckage of their ship after crash landing…all to the fresh sounds of jazz-funk euphoria. One aspect that stands out to me in this game is the multiplayer mode. You start with both characters on the screen but if you get too far away from each other, the screen automatically splits so you can follow the action of each character separately. I don’t think a multiplayer experience like this existed on a console at the time, so being able to explore the world independently allowed for a unique opportunity for freedom and communication between players. The game was juuuuust weird enough to hold the attention of edgy pre-teens at a time when MTV was still a thing. Honestly, without the soundtrack, I don’t know if this game would have worked. Without your limited powerups, it’s a surprisingly slow slog around the overworld. But, grab a friend and you’ll both be bopping to the a mad jamz of Toejam & Earl.

2)Octodad (Mac/PC 2014)

Ope, let me just squeeeeze right past ya.

Here’s a new game to me: Octodad! I had no idea this game existed and it looks…well…look at it! This game could have easily gone on my Odd-gust list last month, but I wanted to save it for this month because the movement is absolutely ridiculous. You control Octodad with the mouse. The left button raises his left “foot” and the right button raises his right “foot.” Then you move the mouse in the direction where you want your feet to go and release the buttons to lower the feet back to the ground. What’s the goal? You are an octopus posing as a human who is trying to not raise the suspicions of his family while avoiding a Japanese chef that wants to cook you. Who comes up with this stuff!? I actually have an answer for that – college kids! The game was created by students at DePaul University for a showcase at the 2011 Independent Games Festival. Apparently they were doing something right as the students ended up becoming one of 8 winners to be awarded for their work at the festival. So, next time you’re doing homework, remember, you could have been designing a game about an octopus who thinks he’s a person.

Honorable Mentions:

Ward from Final Fantasy 8 (Playstation 1999)

Casually using a giant harpoon as a weapon.

Banjo Kazooie’s Talon Trot (N64 1998)

Next stop: the chiropractor.

Eddy Gordo from Tekken 2 (Playstation 1996)

He’s got legs and he knows how to use them.
  1. QWOP (Browser 2008)
::”Chariots of Fire” starts playing::

Bennett Foddy, who also created Getting Over It, didn’t want to work on his philosophy dissertation, so he decided to bless the world with QWOP. It is as crazy as it looks. Using just the four letters in the game’s title, you control the runner’s thighs and calves while trying to reach a distance of 100 meters. If you could get past 10 meters, you were considered a god at this game. I seem to recall that I’d get my runner to either hop on one foot toward the goal, or he would be sort of down on one knee just shuffling forward until ultimately falling on his face. I never reached the goal. An even more impossible version of the game now exists for mobile devices. Additionally, a two-player edition released in 2012. QWOP even made an appearance on an episode of The Office where you can see Toby playing the game at his desk. Let’s be thankful for procrastination or else QWOP may have never existed.

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That’s it for this month! Can you think of any games where characters have memorable movements? Leave me a comment. Also, you can now SUBSCRIBE to my blog via e-mail Enter your address at the bottom of my Bonus Stage page to get posts sent directly to your inbox. Thanks for reading, and keep your eyes peeled for next month’s post!

It’s Showtime: Top Ten Games Based On Sitcoms

Hey, friends! It has been one of the busiest Spring semesters of all time – including several state-wide events, a fresh set of classes and students, and an interview for my own job (which was successful!). When there were finally moments to breathe, TV sitcoms and video games were some of my greatest sources of comfort. But, what if we combined the two!? Double the comfort, right??????

Unsurprisingly, there aren’t very many games based on sitcoms. So, here’s what I could rustle up for my Top Ten! Can you think of any other? Share with me in a comment below!

10. Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers
(Super Nintendo, 1994)

power rangers video game
Go, go, Power Rangers!

Okay, okay, so Power Rangers is not really a sitcom. It’s considered a live-action superhero show. But, you can’t ignore that it has elements of situational comedy especially in the early parts of each episode where they’re hanging out at school dealing with the town bullies, Bulk and Skull. In fact, there were times when I preferred just watching these parts as opposed to the fighting and giant robots – it kind of reminded me of Saved By The Bell!

9. M*A*S*H
(Atari, 1983)

mash video game helicopter
“War isn’t Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse.”
mash video game operator
Water on the knee… OPERATION!

One of the most beloved series in television history, M*A*S*H follows the crew of the 4077th surgical unit during the Korean War and combines dramatic elements with quirky characters to make light of a challenging time in history. To make a video game out this was a rather bold move, but Atari took those two elements and made them as arcade-y as possible. 1) You rescue people in the field by helicopter while avoiding being shot down. 2) You operate on soldiers who have been shot by removing bullets from their body a la the Operation board game. Kind of a depressing concept when you think about it, huh?

8. Alf
(Sega Master System, 1989)

alf video game
Willie: There’s more than one way to skin a cat.
ALF: You’ve been looking at my recipe book.

Our favorite furry space alien got his own game on the Sega Master System, touting some classic one-liners and….exploring caves with bats. In this semi-open world adventure, Alf is trying to assemble pieces of a spaceship so he can meet his friends on Mars. Honestly, they missed out on an opportunity to make this a game about hunting cats for dinner.

7. The Three Stooges
(NES, 1987)

three stooges video game
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!

Boxing, food fights, go-kart races, and more! In this series of mini-game challenges, you help the classic trio of Larry, Curly, and Moe (but no Shemp) to raise money to save woman’s orphanage. Each scenario is cleverly based off of movies and skits from the Stooges’ history. Though, the execution makes me want to get poked in the eye. I think this game would have done better as an effort to actually raise money for orphanages.

6. Lizzie McGuire: On The Go
(Game Boy Advance, 2003)

lizzie mcguire video game
Yay!

From the manual: “Lizzie McGuire: One the Go! game is more than just a game – it’s an address book, a brain teaser, and a whole lot more. Alone or with friends, you’ll be entertained for hours with fun games such as When Cheerleaders Attack!, Box Bash, Code Blue, cool party activities like Lizzie’s Charades, Ask Lizzie and Operator. It also includes rockin’ PDA features like Class Scheduler, Horoscopes, and Best Friends Address Book.”

Can’t say much more than that, huh?? Can you imagine bringing your Game Boy Advance to school and powering up your Lizzie McGuire game so you can figure out what class to go to next?

5. Home Improvement: Power Tool Pursuit
(Super Nintendo, 1994)

home improvement snes nintendo
What time is it?

Real men don’t need instructions – and if you were to try to read the instruction manual for this game, you’d literally see the text BLOCKED by a big label that says “real men don’t need instructions.” So, instead you’re thrown into the first stage of the game, Tim “the Tool-Man” Taylor trying to retrieve a set of stolen power tools by navigating the set a show about dinosaurs. Where’s Wilson when you need him?

4. The Office: Somehow We Manage
(Mobile, 2022)

the office game
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”

If you ever wanted to fill the shoes of Michael Scott by running the in’s and out’s of the Dunder Mifflin paper company, you’re in luck! This mobile simulation game based on The Office will have you tapping your way to victory (that’s what she said!) while interacting with your favorite characters. The game’s homepage touts that you can “relive memorable from The Office in a whole new way!” Can I relive Kevin dropping a giant pot of chili? Which famous Office moment would you want to relive??

Try the game for yourself: https://www.theofficesomehowwemanagegame.com/

3. The Adventures of Gilligan’s Island
(NES, 1990)

gilligan's island nes
“A three hour tour!”

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a game that forces you to aimlessly wander an island until you figure out what to do. You control the Skipper, followed by the faithful but bumbling Gilligan, while searching for a way back to the main land. I appreciate that there’s a constant stream of dialogue taking place between the characters as they encounter each new obstacle, adding the same kind of banter you’d experience while watching the show. Will the castaways ever get off the island? … Stay tuned!

2. The Flintstones: The Rescue of Dino & Hoppy
(NES, 1991)

flintstones nes
Yabba dabba doo!

Kidnappings? Time travel? A cross-over with The Jetsons? It’s all here in The Flintstones: The Rescue of Dino & Hoppy! This action-platformer provides a surprisingly rock-solid adventure as you help Fred recover his and Barney’s pets from a 30th century madman. Check this game out – you’ll have a gay ol’ time!

Honorable Mentions:

The Simpsons: Bart vs the Space Mutants
(NES, 1991)

simpsons nes
Why you little…!

NBA Jam: Tournament Edition
(Super Nintendo, 1995)

nba jam fresh prince
West Philadelphia, born and raised.

Full House
(Tiger Electronics, 1992)

full house video game
Wait for me – I got little legs!

1. Fester’s Quest
(NES, 1989)

addams family nes
They’re creepy and they’re kooky.
fester nes

While there are several Addams Family games between the Nintendo and Super Nintendo, Fester’s Quest is the only one based (very loosely) on the original 1960’s sitcom. All of the classic characters appear to help our hero, and the title screen even has a modern 8-bit rendition of the theme song. Okay, yeah, maybe Fester never hunted down any evil alien invaders in the show. But, if anyone in the family were to take on the task, it most certainly would be him!

Thanks for stopping by to read my post! Can you think of any other sitcoms that have a video game adaptation? Or, did you play any of these games? Share you’re experience with me in the comments!

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Pixel Art #69-71: Merry Pixmas

It’s Spring Break! And that means it’s finally time for me to start posting all the art I had done in December 😬

Below is a set of pixel pieces inspired by holiday movies! I was happy to sneak in one that’s actually from a game, too. Kevin’s sprite is from the original NES Home Alone game (which is horrendous – do not play it).

So, ignoring the springtime weather just around the corner, what’s your favorite holiday movie??

Buddy the Elf
Mr. Grinch
Kevin!

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My Gaming Year In Review (2025)

2025 is going out with an ugh as I’ve now been sick for nearly two weeks with some sort of nasty cold. I feel tired, have a hard time sleeping, and use a substantial amount of Kleenex day and night. But, the blog traditions must continue!

This year, more than ever, I felt like I had almost no down time – each event poured seamlessly into the next with little room to breathe. Along with the concerts, conferences, festivals, summer camps, performances, lessons and new responsibilities at work, it’s a wonder that I was able to fit in any games at all (which is something I seem to say every year now).

I finished eight games in total in 2025. All but one were new to me. Let’s not waste any more time. Read on to hear my thoughts on what I played this year!

NieR: Automata
(Various, 2017)

nier automata
Beaten 2/22/25 (True Ending)

My “Favorite Game of 2024” according to the year-in-review stats from nintendo.com, and boy oh boy, what a game it was! Sporting multiple endings, I finally achieved its true ending in February of 2025.

nier automata 9s

NieR: Automata toes the line between video game and art; an absolute masterpiece that explores deep, philosophical questions, challenging the very meaning of existence altogether. What is life? What is love? What is family? I was urged to keep playing, learning more about the fall of civilization with each new perspective.

neir automata robot

The game, in my opinion, offers one of the most meaningful resolutions I have ever come across in all my years of playing. Please, do yourself a favor and check it out!

My rating: 9.5/10

The Messenger
(Various, 2018)

messenger neverending story dragon
Beaten 3/29/25 (100%)

One fateful day, I watched a YouTube video about games that completely change halfway through, and lo! The Messenger caught my attention immediately. What starts as a typical level-by-level, side-scrolling, 8-bit platformer like Ninja Gaiden, The Messenger gets flipped on its head completely after the main character finishes the Tower of Time and is thrust into the future.

messenger music notes

Not only do the graphics switch over from an 8-bit to 16-bit style, but the game opens up into a fully-connected Metroidvania where the player can explore freely. From that point forward, puzzles must be solved going back and forth between the two styles, forcing gamers to consider time and its effects on your environment.

messenger boss

I’ll admit, it became somewhat tedious toward the end as I tried to collect all the items, and a few of the bosses felt a little unfair – but I pressed on for a pretty awesome experience.

My rating: 7.5/10

Xenoblade Chronicles X: Definitive Edition
(Switch, 2025/2015)

xenoblade view
Beaten 6/28/25 (100% Map/Collectopedia)

At long last! Xenoblade Chronicles X managed to encompass the same wonder and joy that I originally felt when playing Breath of the Wild for the first time. I spent more time than I care to admit meticulously unlocking every map tile and completing the “collectopedia” which challenges players to find every type of item in each region of Mira.

xenoblade dinosaur

Exploration was the key to maintaining my interest, starting on foot and forcing me to experiment with creative ways to reach new locations. After dozens and dozens of hours, I unlocked my first “Skell,” a gigantic self-piloted robot with immense power that can travel the world through flight. The sky was literally the limit, and I took it all in as I visited new lands for the first time.

xenoblade 100% congrats

One of my final obstacles to reach 100% was defeating the optional superboss “Telethia,” a massive dragon-like entity who is virtually invincible against certain types of attacks. After cruising the reddit forums about how to handle the beast, I learned he could be defeated in just ONE hit if I customized my Skell with a certain series of weapons and augments. The grind began and a mere….20 hours later…I achieved my goal! I was in disbelief. Not only did he go down in one shot, but now pretty much every other enemy/boss in the game was defeated just as easily.

The only ping I’d give to this game is the lackluster story found in the new content of Chapter 13, created especially for the Definitive Edition 10 years after the game first released. Taking place after the game’s original ending, this new quest essentially undid everything you worked so hard to achieve in the main plot. I don’t think it necessarily undoes the joy I garnered from the first 12 chapters, but the disconnect between the Wii U and Switch versions was distinct.

My rating: 8.5/10

Luigi’s Mansion 3
(Switch, 2019)

luigi's mansion waving
Beaten 8/4/25 (any%)

Luigi is back with his trusty, new Poltergust G-00, ready to tackle the spooky spirits of the The Last Resort Hotel. Having played and enjoyed the first two Luigi’s Mansion games, I expected roughly the same experience with the third entry. I originally started it back in 2022 but became slightly sidetracked by another game at the time (maybe Kirby and the Forgotten Land?).

luigi's mansion dog

In truth, LM3 was a perfectly fine experience but in comparison to the other entries, I think it’s the weakest of the three. However, I maintain that if I were to play the entirety of the game with a second player, I would rate it at least a point and a half higher!

luigi's mansion congrats

I had the opportunity to try this out with a friend for one of the floors, and the level of problem solving and communication brought me straight back to my childhood where every game was a team-effort in finding your way forward. Furthermore, the game was just generally easier because you had twice the suction power at your disposal!

My rating: 7/10

Demon’s Crest
(SNES, 1994)

demon's crest castle
Beaten 8/30/25 (100%, True Ending)

After beating Luigi’s Mansion 3, I knew I needed something I could take in small chunks before I headed back to teaching. Demon’s Crest had always been on my radar, but I hit some obstacles in my earlier attempts. Now with it freshly on the Nintendo Switch Online service, I had a way to give it a fair shot.

demons crest ending

Well, I played it to 100% completion, achieving the true ending, and I’m sorry to say that it didn’t live up to my expectations. Apparently I’m in the minority, too, as this game is deeply lauded by those who have nostalgia for it. They cite the gothic graphics and themes along with the horror-induced soundtrack.

demons crest ending

Perhaps I played too much Hollow Knight before going up against this game. Apart from a few bosses (namely the final two), I found it be a relatively easy experience. Levels were not fun to explore as Firebrand could usually just fly over everything. A few of the upgrades, like the Earth Gargoyle, became essentially worthless once other upgrades were unlocked. Tracking down all the items at the end was a chore. And, finally, there’s a required (for 100%) skull-bashing mini game that uses a horrendous headbutt mechanic that is nearly impossible to aim.

I’ll take the original Gargoyle’s Quest for Game Boy over this one – one of the first games I ever beat!

My rating: 6/10

The Adventures of Lolo
(NES, 1989)

lolo
Beaten 9/25/25

September arrived and I was in full teaching mode at that point. So, a little palate cleanser like The Adventures of Lolo was just the ticket. I first played this game in elementary school at a friend’s house, and it was one of only a few games they owned – this very well may be one of the first Nintendo games I had played EVER.

lolo and lala nes

As such, everything about Lolo was familiar and cozy. The music, the colors, the mechanics, I was very comfortable with the experience. I also went in knowing that this was a game that I’ve been able to finish in just one sitting (albeit, that was during a speedrun challenge with my friends). An added bonus to playing this on Nintendo Switch Online was the fact that I could save my game at any point without having to write down any passwords. Very happy to have added a little Lolo to my year!

My rating: 9/10

Final Fantasy Pixel Remaster
(Switch, 2023/1987)

final fantasy chaos
Beaten 10/22/25

At some point during 2025, I decided I really needed to tackle ye olde backlog (starting with Luigi’s Mansion 3, I suppose), and the games of the Final Fantasy Pixel Remaster collection were giving me the stink eye. I finished Final Fantasy V in 2023 and Final Fantasy IV and II in 2024. It was time to continue the journey.

final fantasy lord of the rings gandalf

I had attempted the original Final Fantasy game on the PS1 “Origins” collection, but my journey was cut short by a mob of cockatrices who kept turning me to stone. With the quality-of-life improvements on the Pixel Remasters, I knew I might have an easier go this time around. I was right!

final fantasy tiamat

I don’t have much to say about the game itself. It is Final Fantasy through-and-through, and it’s a wonderful part of video game history to see how it began. All of the classic elements from the series are there: your standard spells/items, classes, enemies and story tropes. I knew it was coming, but I was also so thrilled to board the airship, a staple of nearly every game in the franchise.

I’m rating it just above Final Fantasy II – only because I prefer the traditional leveling system. Glad to have this one under my belt!

My rating: 6/10

Final Fantasy III Pixel Remaster
(Switch, 2023/1990)

final fantasy lord of the rings
Beaten 11/12/25

Sneaking in one more FF game before 2026, I figured Final Fantasy III was something I could manage well enough between my other adult responsibilities. My only other experience with this entry was the Nintendo DS 3D Remaster which I borrowed from a friend back in 2008 (I remember essentially nothing about it except that it was a heavy grind in the final dungeon).

final fantasy bahamut

The Pixel Remaster version was a surprisingly charming take on the experience, adding a fresh coat of graphics and music with which I could easily connect. Honestly, anything that looks like FF4 is going to pique my interest by default. As a result, I found myself more excited about exploring, and I was impressed with the scope of this game – trying out features never before used in a Final Fantasy game. In particular, I remember having to cast “mini” on myself in order to explore a cave leading to a village of gnomes.

final fantasy war

Like FF1, the quality of life improvements made the game very easy to play. Auto-battle was my most-used feature, giving me the power to essentially watch tv while I let the game grind for me. And, of course, being able to run around the maps made dungeons far less of a crawl.

final fantasy ending

While Final Fantasy III built upon the first two titles, it still falls far behind 4 and 5. The characters just don’t have the draw of future games where I truly felt like I was embodying their stories. If you asked me to try to name a character from any of the first three games, I wouldn’t be able to do it. But, I can name people from 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12…well, every other game I’ve played! It was clear the series was headed in the right direction.

My rating: 6.5/10

Stay tuned for next year’s 2026 Gaming Year in Review to hear my thoughts when I inevitably wrap up Final Fantasy VI – the last of my Pixel Remaster games! Here are a few other games I have on deck or in the backlog:

Metroid Prime 4
Dragon Quest III HD-2D Remaster
Outer Wilds
Blaster Master Zero 3
Witcher 3 (I may never go back to this…)
Super Mario Odyssey (the moon-hunting continues)

Check out my previous “Gaming Years In Review!”

My Gaming Year In Review (2024)
My Gaming Year in Review (2023)
My Gaming Year in Review (2022)
My Gaming Year in Review (2021)

Thanks for stopping by to read my post! What was your gaming like in 2025? What hopes do you have for 2026? Leave a comment and share your thoughts!

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Squeak Squeak: Top Ten Mice in Games

Well, it’s happened again. A mouse has somehow made its way into our abode, and I have been tasked to capture it. So far, my trap has come up empty, despite all the tasty peanut butter and chocolate chips that I’ve stashed inside. I thought maybe it had left on its own, but clues remained that the rivalrous rodent was still at large.

I needed a distraction from the hunt, so “squeak squeak!” Here are the Top Ten instances of mice in video games!

10) Earthbound
(SNES, 1994)

Earthbound exit mouse

Lost in the depths of a dungeon and don’t want to battle your way back outside? Call upon the trusty Exit Mouse! Like the Teleport spells in Final Fantasy games, the exit mouse will make the trip instantaneous, so you’re not having to risk a rough run-in with some Criminal Caterpillars.

9) Claymates
(SNES, 1993)

Claymates oozy the mouse

Yet another opportunity to write about Claymates! Oozy the mouse is the first animal form that our hero Clayton can assume once collecting a gray glob of clay. His speed is a massive step up from the rolling blob from which you start. Like that other speedy rodent out there, though, this can become his greatest weakness as you accidentally run head-first into the nearest enemy!

8) Little Nemo: The Dream Master
(NES, 1990)

Little Nemo mouse with mallet

One of Nemo’s many candy-addicted animal friends, the mouse can not only climb walls, but it also comes with its own wall-smashing mallet! Where did the mallet come from? All mice have them, obviously.

7) Diddy Kong Racing
(N64, 1997)

Diddy Kong racing pipsy mouse

My personal pick for when I play Diddy Kong Racing, Pipsy the mouse has some of the best acceleration in the game, and gosh she’s so darn cute, too! Apparently, she was originally slated for use in her own game, but the project never moved forward. So, off to the races with ya!

6) Mappy
(Arcade, 1983)

Mappy police mouse

News flash: mouse dedicates years of life in police academy in order to get revenge on cats. This is the plot of Mappy, a police-mouse who protects a mansion from thievery. Is this what’s happening in my house? I know you’re out there, mousy, just trying to make sure no one takes my Nintendo Switch. Bless you.

5) Little Samson
(NES, 1992)

Little Samson mouse

The best Capcom game I’ve ever stumbled upon, Little Samson calls upon the powers of different animals to navigate the obstacles before him. K.O. the mouse is good for getting through tight spaces and climbing surfaces – oh yeah, and he can DROP BOMBS, too. Now this is one mouse I definitely don’t want in my home.

4) Rodent’s Revenge
(Windows, 1991)

Rodents revenge mouse

Not quite Mappy-level revenge going on here, but this rodent combines the block pushing elements of Lolo along with the sadistic murder techniques used by players of The Sims. To win, our mouse must trap all the cats in their own spaces while avoiding holes, ball of yarn, and traps. The reward: cheese. So much cheese.

3) Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
(Gamecube, 2004)

Paper Mario ms Mowz mouse

We’ve all heard of cat burglars… well, now we have a mouse burglar! Ms. Mowz is on her own personal quest to collect badges which she steals around the world to sell at her Lovely Howz of Badges. If you play your cards right, you can recruit her as an optional character where she has a nose for sniffing out collectibles. I think they avoided a lawsuit from Disney by not calling her shop the “Howz of Mowz.”

2) Super Mario Bros 2 (USA)
(NES, 1988)

Mario 2 mouser mouse

Guardian of World 1, World 3 and World 5, Mouser proves that Nintendo needs to come up with more bosses in their games. His main attack, of course, is bombs which we already learned was a common thing for mice according to Little Samson. I always loved his character design, but I never owned Super Mario Bros 2 as a kid. So, most of my love for the game and the characters came from other media.

Nes activity book stickers

I still have this super cool “Sticker Activity Album” which pulled a lot from Mario 2. See below for Mouser’s design from the book!

NES activity book mouser sticker

Honorable Mentions:

QBillion (Game Boy, 1989)

QBillion game boy mouse puzzle tile

Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong’s Double Trouble
(SNES, 1996)

Donkey Kong country 3 Ellie elephant mouse

Ducktales
(NES, 1989)

Ducktales moon mouse

Mario Paint
(SNES, 1992)

Mario paint mouse

1) Kirby: Squeak Squad
(Nintendo DS, 2006)

Kirby squeak squad mice mouse

Move over Ms. Mowz, another group of treasure-hungry thieves are causing chaos in Dream Land! When Kirby learns that King Dedede is not behind a recent spree of crimes (mainly the crime of stealing his strawberry shortcake before he could eat it), he tracks down the dastardly gang known as the Squeaks! Not only do the Squeaks earn our #1 spot today, but they’ve also given me a great idea for a future a cappella group name.

Thanks for stopping by to read my article! Can you think of other mice in gaming media that should be on my list? Leave me a comment and tell me about them! Also, if you’re enjoying my content, please “like” and follow me for more content.

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Pixel Art #66-68: Silhouettes

On October 22nd this year (at 8:36 pm), I had the great pleasure of beating the original Final Fantasy Pixel Remaster game for the first time. A feat for the ages! I thought back to the iconic image of the four Warriors of Light, cast in shadows, overlooking a vast landscape while the text crawled upward explaining the game’s story. Inspiration for my pixel art!

Hot off of my pumpkin project, I wanted to stick to the spooky themes. So, I thought of a few other instances of iconic, shadowy figures from games. Below are the results!

A castle on the back of the
cards in Microsoft Solitaire!
The Warriors of Light!
Shadow Link from Zelda II:
The Adventure of Link

Can you think of some other shadowy figures in video games? Let me know in a comment, and maybe I’ll draw it next!

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First You Draw A Circle: Top Ten Round Video Game Characters

November 2nd is officially “Look for Circles Day” which encourages people young and old to notice the round things in our everyday lives. Your coffee mug, the wheels of a bike, the iris of your eyes… the list goes on and on. What did I notice? Video game characters, of course!

Take a moment with me to explore the Top Ten Round Video Game Characters – and let me know in a comment if you can think of any others!

10. Kickle Cubicle
(NES, 1990)

This chilly character enjoys frozen treats so much that even his breath is cold. Using his powers, he turns his enemies into blocks of ice and then pushes them into the water, creating bridges for him to collect even more snacks!

9. Pushmo
(3DS, 2011)

Pushmo just wants to reach the flag at the top of the blocks, so he pushes and pulls his way forward in order to reveal accessible platforms. This quirky puzzle game was a gem on the Nintendo 3DS, utilizing the wonderful 3D effects that the system had to offer.

8. Lock ‘n’ Chase
(Game Boy, 1990)

You’re a thief and, lucky for you, every bank you visit stores their money on the floor. Collect it all, and get away – but don’t get caught!

7. Chain Chomp from Super Mario 64
(N64, 1996)

The chain chomp first appeared in 1990’s Super Mario Bros. 3 for the Nintendo Entertainment System. But, the old ball and chain got quite the upgrade when he made the leap to the N64. Stomp the wooden stake to which he’s connected, and he’ll blast open the nearby cage that holds a power star!

6. Faceball 2000
(SNES, 1991)

Faceball 2000 is a sadistic FPS for the Super Nintendo, pre-dating both Wolfenstein and Doom, and touting one of the first opportunities to go head-to-head (face-to-face?) with a second player in this style of game. What’s worse than getting pelted with oversized projectiles? Being told to “Have A Nice Day” every time you die. YOU HAVE A NICE DAY, JERK!

5. Voltorb from Pokémon Red/Blue
(Game Boy, 1996)

Voltorb in a more recent appearance!

That’s no Poké Ball. It’s Voltorb! This shocking Pokémon uses electric-type attacks and can be found in places like power plants. Was it possible that this strange creature was the result of weird experiments involving Poké Balls? The colors are oddly similar!

4. Kirby’s Dream Land
(Game Boy, 1992)

While Kirby was introduced to us on on the Game Boy in 1992, many remember the opening “first you draw a circle” animation from the 1993 NES game Kirby’s Adventure.

This was a reference to a Japanese commercial for the original game which depicted a young child showing the viewer how to draw Kirby. Check out the first video in this compilation below:

3. Adventures of Lolo
(NES, 1989)

And of course, we wouldn’t have Kirby if at first we didn’t have Lolo! Lolo waddled, so Kirby could suck…er…fly? Both characters where created by HAL Laboratory. The company certainly has an affinity for round characters!

2. Claymates
(SNES, 1993)

In a strange, pun-filled coincidence/accident, our main hero Clayton gets turned into a literal ball of clay (😂😂😂). When in ball form, he can roll, jump, and punch with an arm that stretches out from the sphere’s center. At least he’s living up to his name.

Honorable Mentions:

Marble Madness
(NES, 1989)

Samus from the Metroid series
(Nintendo, 1986-today)

Screenshot from Super Metroid

1. Pac-Man 
(Arcade, 1980)

The original round character, Pac-Man was called Pakkuman man in Japan – which translates essentially to “Puck Man.” Named for his Hockey puck-like shape, publishers in North America decided against putting “Puck Man” on arcade cabinets for fear of receiving some rather…inappropriate graffiti. In the words of Prince John from Robin Hood: Men in Tights, “It’s a good change. It’s a good change!”

Thanks for stopping by to read my article! Can you name some other circular video game characters? Share them with me in a comment! Also, if you’re enjoying my posts, please let me know with a “like,” and “follow” my blog to see all future content!

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Pixel Art #63-65: Pixel’d Pumpkins

Halloween is here, and pumpkins are in season! Here are a few of most recent pixel art projects to celebrate the occasion.

The Trick or Treat Kid from Earthbound

Pumpkin Zone from Super Mario Land 2

Punkin’ from Monster Party

Thanks for stopping by to read my post! Have you played any of these games? Can you think of any other games with pumpkins? Share a memory or two with me in the comments!

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Tickling the Ivories: Top Ten Pianos in Games

Some of my first memories with a piano involved going to my grandma’s house and making up songs on her lovely, black upright piano which she kept in her dining room. Of course, I had no idea what I was doing. For me, it was a game – an opportunity to create sounds that represented pictures I had in my head. The high notes were rain, the low notes were thunder, and every once in a while, a sharp middle note would be the lightning. And so set the stage for a lifelong love of music!

Naturally, wherever I went, I was on the hunt for a piano to play – including in video games! Grab your favorite Alfred learning book, and let’s take a look at the top ten instances of pianos in games!

10) Grand Piano Keys
(Arcade, 2015)

They tried.

I’d be remiss not to include this abomination of a ticket game that appealed to budding pianists who were only met with deep disappointment when they realized there was hardly any connection to the instrument whatsoever. But, the cabinet itself was decorated with all sorts of beautiful music references and I guess the giant buttons “could” be piano keys? Half steps? Whole steps? Maybe I should step away.

9) Parasite Eve
(Playstation, 1998)

A crazed teacher goes to the extreme.

The day for the mitochondria to be free has finally arrived! Melissa is feeling hot… and no, it’s not because she has reached that special age in her life. Something in her cells has shifted, turning her into the evil “Eve.” She may want to cut her nails if she wants to maintain proper finger curvature.

8) Maniac Mansion
(Commodore 64/Apple II, 1987)

The piano is not a table.

No mansion would be complete without a fine, grand piano for the music room. Though, it’s hard to imagine Dr. Fred taking time away from his zombie cheerleader experiments to practice his scales! Proud of Bernard for taking the first steps to a healthy practice session – “walk to the piano bench.”

7) Mario Kart 8
(Wii U, 2014)

Drums, brass valves, and vibraphones – it seems like every family of instrument is represented in this iconic raceway. My favorite portion is when the track suddenly turns into a set of giant piano keys, and the in-game music adds a glissando of notes as you speed across them. I would 100% visit this Music Park. Please make it a real thing!

6) Final Fantasy V
(Super Famicom, 1992)

Is that even a question?

Pianos first appeared in Final Fantasy III and even famously showed up in Final Fantasy VII (see our glorious cover photo for this post). Final Fantasy V, however, turned the hunt for pianos in each town into a little mini game. Each new piano that was discovered and played would result in a slightly better piece of music being played. Practice makes perfect!

5) Luigi’s Mansion 3
(Switch, 2019)

Same.

Amadeus Wolfgeist takes his playing very seriously, so when a timid Luigi steps on stage and interrupts the mad maestro, all hell breaks loose! What follows is an event that leaves the entire theater in shambles – similar to some of my own personal performances when I hadn’t practiced enough!

4) The 7th Guest
(DOS, 1993)

If you hit the wrong note, we’ll all be flat!

If you loved the melody memorization game of Simon as a kid, then you’ll love this puzzle in The 7th Guest. All one needs to do is listen to the pitches being played and then repeat them back, one note being added with each new sequence. I especially liked that the notes being played are the correct pitches!

3) It Takes Two
(Various, 2021)

“Chopsticks!”

They say that music brings people together, and perhaps the troubled couple of It Takes Two just might find what they need to rekindle their relationship – especially after being shrunken down in size. Here’s your chance to reenact that famous “Heart and Soul” scene from Big!

2) Super Mario 64
(N64, 1996)

An actual photo of the reason for my students’ fear of practicing.

Play with us, Mario. The Overlook Hotel… I mean “Big Boo’s Haunt” had no business being such a nightmarish dwelling with unnerving, looping melodies and ghastly specters lurking around every corner. Not even our camera man Lakitu was brave enough to enter the abode, forced to film Mario from the window which, in turn, gives us an eery, fixed view straight out of Resident Evil. And, of course, just when we thought we had a moment of reprieve with a cozy grand piano, enticing us closer with its glossy black finish and beautiful ivory keys… the lid springs open sporting sharp fangs as the piano wobbles to and fro toward our helpless plumber, each step made worse with the roar of the hammers slamming against the muddy, bass strings. “Why didn’t you practice this week, Eric?” “THE PIANO IS GOING TO KILL ME.”

Honorable Mentions:

Titanic: Adventure Out of Time
(Window/Macintosh, 1996)

Could have had another lifeboat but instead they got a piano.

The Simpsons: Bart’s Nightmare
(Super Nintendo, 1992)

I know how you feel, Bart.

The Stanley Parable
(Steam, 2013)

Narrator: Stanley decided to practice…no, he decided to do something else. Is Stanley listening to me?

Celeste
(Various, 2018)

A perfect opportunity to play “Climb Every Mountain.”

1) The Miracle Piano Teaching System
(NES, 1990)

Think it’ll work? It would take a miracle!

Name the craziest Nintendo peripheral. Is it the light zapper? The U-Force? R.O.B.? No! It’s the MIRACLE PIANO TEACHING SYSTEM – a fully functional digital keyboard that you plug directly into your controller port! In addition, it comes with software, shaped like every other NES cartridge, which will “teach” you how to play the piano. Can you imagine sitting in the living room with your keyboard trying to follow notes on your TV screen? In any case, this was pretty groundbreaking territory for 1990, and Nintendo certainly wasn’t afraid of trying out a little innovation (see the above peripherals, the Wii, the Wii U, the 3DS, Labo, the Switch, etc.). Nowadays, most digital pianos have a built-in screen where you can play similar “follow the note”-type games for learning pitches and fingering. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.

Thanks for stopping by to read my post! Can you think of other instances of seeing a piano in a game? Share with me in a comment! Also, if you’re enjoying my content, let me know by “liking” my post, and if you want to see more, be sure to “follow” me so you’re the first to see my new stuff!

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Video Game Catfishing: When The Title Doesn’t Match The Face

Like books, video game titles usually give us a pretty good clue as to the kind of adventure we should expect from the experience. Most conventional titles will include the main character’s name or a reference to them. But, every once in awhile, there’ll be a game that will throw off our expectations entirely.

Join me as I share the Top Ten games where the title doesn’t match the face!

10) Yoshi’s Cookie
(NES, 1992)

yoshi's cookie
Mario

Yoshi was and remains a beloved character since his initial appearance in Super Mario World in 1990. However, Nintendo wouldn’t let us actually control him until 1995 when we got Yoshi’s Island: Super Mario World 2. So, in the meantime, the big N would just slap his name on games to entice us – though, technically we were just controlling Mario in one of his many jobs. Put the cookie down!

9) Beauty and the Beast
(SNES, 1994)

beauty and the beast
Beast

Disney has had dozens of iconic licensed tie-in games with their movies and shows: DuckTales, Aladdin, Chip n Dale, Darkwing Duck, The Lion King, and so on. Yet, when it finally came time to develop a Beauty and the Beast game, were we controlling Belle? No! Belle is too girly! Instead, they decided to take the easy road and just build another action-platformer game from Beast’s perspective. Tale as old as time.

8) Star Fox Adventures
(Gamecube, 2002)

star fox adventures krystal
Krystal

To be fair, Star Fox only had two games before this Gamecube sequel came out. Buuuuuut, Star Fox 64 (1997) wasn’t just any game. It was HUGE – in the top ten of most successful games for the N64. It was quite a turn for them to show up with a new game 5 years later only for us to have to play as new character Krystal for the first sections of the game – and in a completely new play style nonetheless! Where’s Fox?? (He shows up later).

Nintendo was quick to remedy this with Star Fox Assault in 2005, and the series has had a rocky ride since then (conversely, I’ll admit that I’ve been re-playing Star Fox Zero lately, and I kind of love it).

7) Wario’s Woods
(NES, 1994)

wario's woods toad
Toad

Like Yoshi, Wario gained a following after he appeared in Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins in 1992, and he even earned an immediate solo adventure in the game’s sequel of 1994. That didn’t stop Nintendo from trying to pull the wool over our eyes by throwing his name on yet another puzzler. Stranger yet is that in Wario’s Woods, we’re controlling *Toad* of all people!

6) Metal Gear Solid V
(Playstation 4, 2015)

metal gear solid v
Venom Snake

Snake, Snake……different Snaaaaake! I don’t know much about the lore of the Metal Gear series, but I do know that by the time they got to Metal Gear V, they decided to ditch Solid Snake altogether to tell a prequel about “Venom Snake” who is very closely tied to the original game. I mean, they could have just called this Metal Gear Venom, right?

5) Donkey Kong & Donkey Kong 3
(Arcade, 1981/1983)

donkey kong arcade jump man
Mario
donkey kong 3 stanley
Stanley the Gardener

In Pac-Man, I play as Pac-Man. In Dig Dug, I play as Dig Dug. In Q*Bert, I play as Q*Bert. In Donkey Kong, I play as….Jump Man! It’s strange that these arcade classics decided to put all their focus on the main villain of the game rather than the heroes that we controlled – Jump Man (Mario) and Stanley the Gardener. Though, it begs the question, if this series was naming their games after the villain, then why wasn’t Donkey Kong Jr. called “Mario??”

4) Mega Man X7
(Playstation 2, 2003)

mega man x7 zero
Zero

Here’s an entry that drives me nuts. The Mega Man and its spinoff series are some of my favorite games ever. Not only did they jump the shark by making Mega Man X7 a weird semi-3D adventure with horrendous camera angles and some of the worst (“BURN TO THE GROUND”) voice acting I’ve ever heard, but YOU HAVE TO UNLOCK Mega Man X. That’s right, the main character of a MEGA MAN game is an unlockable requiring you to complete a significant portion of the game before you can use him. WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOR?

3) Metroid
(NES, 1986)

metroid samus
Samus Aran

While it’s kind of a joke now, children of the 80’s never expected that 1) the title of the game did not contain the main character’s name and 2) the main character was a girl (further evidence that we could have played as Belle in the Beauty and the Beast game!). Meet your main hero, “Metroid!”

2) Hollow Knight
(Various, 2017)

hollow knight the knight
“The Knight”

Maybe it’s unfair to put Hollow Knight so high on the list, but I know I wasn’t the only one who thought that *I* was the Hollow Knight making my way through the depths of Hallownest. No, you are just “The Knight,” a generic dude who is learning all about the actual Hollow Knight and their connection to this strange place. It’s a cool twist – but you had me fooled!

Honorable Mentions:

Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!
(NES, 1987)

mike tyson punch out
Little Mac

Tinstar
(SNES, 1994)

tinstar
You play as…yourself? A reticle on the screen.

Bram Stoker’s Dracula
(SNES, 1993)

bram stoker's dracula snes
Jonathon Harker

John Madden Football
(SNES, 1991)

john madden football snes
Not once do you ever get to play as John Madden.

1) The Legend of Zelda
(NES,1986)

zelda link nintendo
Link

I could have easily paired this with Metroid in that they came out around the same time – but more amusing yet is that in the manual of Metroid, they simply referred to Samus as a “space hunter,” never mentioning their actual name. Furthermore, they used “he/him” pronouns throughout. They were TRYING to trick us!

In The Legend of Zelda manual, however, Link is mentioned right away in the game’s story. And, the in-game crawl text reiterates this same lore. Did we read the manual, though? Did we have the manual? Heck no! Get me in the game! Nobody knew Zelda was a girl’s name, so we plunged forward as Zelda, the great swordsman destined to save Hyrule!

Thanks for stopping by to read my post! Can you think of any other characters who are starring in games that aren’t named for them? Share with me in a comment below!

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By The Beard of Zeus: Top Ten Beards in Games

November may be “No-Shave November,” but September 6th is World Beard Day! Beards come in all shapes and sizes (and can keep you warm on a chilly day!). Some cultures associate them with traits like masculinity, strength, and social status. Personally, I just let my hair grow until it annoys me and then I shave it off.

Since the occasion calls for it, let’s take a moment today to honor thy beard as we explore the Top Ten Beards in Video Games!

10) Mr. Carpainter
Earthbound
(1994, SNES)

It’s a blue world and Mr. Carpainter is painting it. He leads the Happy Happyist Cult which is obsessed with making everything blue, and he was also charged with kidnapping Earthbound’s leading lady, Paula. After Ness knocks some sense into him, Carpainter admits he may have been under the control of a strange, otherworldly statue. Was the statue responsible for his facial hair, too?

9) Cranky Kong
Donkey Kong Country
(1994, SNES)

Our original Donkey Kong (as it was implied for years) now loves to rock in his chair, collect old tires, and brag about the accomplishments of his younger self. In future games, Cranky grabs his cane and joins the adventure – thankfully not getting his beard caught in the murky depths of a barrel cannon!

8) Dr. Light 
Mega Man 3
(1990, Nintendo Entertainment System)

It wasn’t until Mega Man 3 when we finally saw the brilliant Dr. Light in a full cutscene with our famous blue bomber. Naturally, it goes without question that this brilliant scientist probably has a part-time job in the winter as a mall Santa.

7) Chancellor
Chrono Trigger
(1995, SNES)

The Chancellor of the Kingdom of Guardia turns out to be not who we think he is – making it all the more impressive that a monster-in-disguise could maintain such an extravagant face of follicles! In a future life, I could definitely see him being the headmaster of a school for witches and wizards.

6) The Chessmaster
(1991, SNES)

The SNES title screen of The Chessmaster really made you believe you were playing a board game with a friendly old man in a room lit only by candles. You know, a totally normal activity for children. A twinkle in his eye, I’d trust him to lead me to the fires of Mt. Doom.

5) King of Sky Land
Super Mario Bros. 3
(1988, Nintendo Entertainment System)

The beardiest of all the Mario 3 kings, the king of Sky Land clearly has never taken a trip to the ground to purchase a razor. I love, though, how he adds a little stylish flair by parting his beard right down the middle.

4) Fusoya
Final Fantasy 4
(1991, SNES)

Perhaps the quintessential depiction of a “wizened wizard,” Fusoya demonstrates the age-old adage that the longer the beard, the stronger the Meteo.

3) Barba
Shadow of the Colossus
(2005, Playstation 2)

If Barba would have shaved, it could have saved his life! With a smooth face, Wander would have never been able to climb that bodacious beard and reach the weak point at the top of the head. Think about this the next time you want to participate in No-Shave November.

2) Erik the Swift, Baleog the Fierce,
and Olaf the Stout
The Lost Vikings
(1993, SNES) 

I’m just noticing now that Baelog the Fierce (left) doesn’t actually have a beard – just a giant mustache. Do you think Erik and Olaf make fun of him for not being able to adorn his hair with trinkets? Honestly, this might by why Baelog is the one with the sword – he’s the only one that could shave!

Honorable Mentions:

Gordon Freeman
Half Life
(1998, PC)

Freshly trimmed for another day at Aperture Science!

1) Branson
Beard Blade
(2021, Steam)

A game where your beard is your main gimmick? Welp, this has to be #1! Beard Blade has you controlling Branson and his immaculate beard on a quest to recover stolen treasures. Upgrade your abilities by visiting the local barber who will trim your beard into a multifaceted mechanism of manliness! Not only can you use your facial hair for your main attack, but you can also operate gears controlling doors, you can climb long chains, and you can helicopter float your way to safety (a la Dixie Kong) with a quick spin to the ground. I suddenly have new beard goals.

Thanks for stopping by to read my post! Can you think of other instances of beards in video games? Let me know in a comment below!

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