I’ll Learn Ya Good: School in Games

We’re now in the thick of it; school is in session! I’m in my third year as a (now full-time) teacher at a two-year community college, and the first few weeks are always a healthy dose of chaos. Learning names, prepping lessons, and picking out all the music to be used by my music ensembles. It’s a lot of work, but I love hearing it come together!

A few months ago, when I stumbled upon a video game-themed article about eggs from Kim who writes for her Later Levels blog, I just had to share with her that I recently wrote about a similar topic. This single act spawned a conversation that led to a collaborative opportunity where we united the power of our pens (keyboards) to simultaneously release a pair of articles about the undead in honor of Zombie Awareness Month. Our blog posts, “Infectious Fun” and “Double Tap”, discussed some of our favorite zombies in video games.

Afterward, I reached out to Kim about an idea I had surrounding schools in video games and was surprised to learn that she also had a career in academia. The fates had aligned again! She was more than eager to hop on board for another collaboration. As we prepared to write, we exchanged our lists of schools in games that we wanted to use in our articles, and I was blown away to see that our lists shared only one common game (I think you’ll be amused to see where it ranks between the two of us).

Visit “Class in session: schools in video games” to read Kim’s article, and see how it compares to what I have below!

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10. Hollywood High
(PC/Mac, 1996)

Here’s a game that has basically been lost in the sands of time… Hollywood High was a computer program that let players create their own cartoon scenes much in the same vein as the Spider-Man Cartoon Maker or 3D Movie Maker. Budding script-writers could take their colorful cast of 12 characters to over 50 locations to act out the most absurd of situations. Just don’t confuse it with the B-movie teen comedy of the same name from 1976.

9. The Classroom
(Flash Game, 2003)

“You are Alex. A boy that just can’t (read won’t) study. So, simply you just cheat at tests. The last 10 days of school are here and so are the final knowledge tests. What to do? Cheat!” -from the Instructions screen of The Classroom.

If Metal Gear Solid isn’t your thing, take it down a notch by trying this stealthy substitute. As per the instructions, your goal is to copy answers from the classroom nerd (indicated by the yellow dot) without being noticed by the teacher’s watchful eye. If you can successfully fill up your cheat bar, you move on to the next stage. Let’s be real, though. Teacher’s see EVERYTHING, and you would be kicked out of the class for just leaving your seat!

8. Kong Kollege
Donkey Kong Country 2:
Diddy’s Kong Quest
(SNES, 1995)

Kong Kollege is a total sham. In an effort to recruit new students, Wrinkly Kong will allow you to save your game for free if it’s your first time visiting. Each time after, however, it will cost you two shiny banana coins. And you thought tuition was out of control already!!

Let’s hope you’re not a math major. Look at those equations on the chalk board. 9 divided by 3 = 6. 8 x 1 = 9. 4 + 2 = 5. Yeesh. It’s no wonder Wrinkly decided to retire to her cave to look after Banana Birds and play N64 in between the occasional exercise session in the next game.

7. The Relationship Classroom
The Legend of Zelda:
Breath of the Wild
(Wii U/Switch, 2017)

Dating is tough – especially if you live in a village where there’s a severe lack of potential mates. Have no fear! The relationship classroom is here! In the all-female city of Gerudo Town, the relationship classroom teaches young “vai” how to attract their “voe.” It seems like they need a lot of help, too…

In one lesson, the teacher posits a hypothetical situation to her class, “You’re walking down the street on your way somewhere, and a handsome voe you’ve never met approaches…”

A students stands, “Oh! I would wave casually to him but also keep myself prepared in case he’s a distraction for a bandit ambush!”

Another says, “Oh! I would enthusiastically greet him, approaching him with a smile and with my hands clearly empty!”

The final student rises, “Oh! I would walk casually toward him and then strike a fierce blow when he least suspected it!”

“Risa…” the teacher languishes, “That would be a crime…”

They’re still learning!

6. We Love Katamari
(PS2, 2005)

“Is school fun for you?” asks the King of All Cosmos. “More fun than Katamari Damacy? Oh really, that’s nice.”

No, of course it’s not more fun than Katamari Damacy! Plus, when you’ve got the opportunity to roll up your classroom (and classmates) into a giant ball, you can’t pass it up.

As the Prince assigned to try to restore all the stars in the universe, your journey takes you to one of the messiest schools in existence. Stuff is EVERYWHERE. Bowling pins are set up in the hallway, there’s a goose in the bathroom, and apparently the bell schedule has no meaning. Maybe it was time that this place invested in some remodeling anyway….

5. School II
Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2
(PS1, 2000)

Home of the Chula Villa Chickens, School II will have you ollie-ing near the library and kickflipping in the gymnasium. Some of the objectives here include collecting all five hall passes, grinding three roll call rails, and wall riding five bells. It’s like they just took generic skateboard terms and added school stuff to it. Look, I can do it, too. Alley-oop the teacher. Backside the final exam. Indy grab the chalk board.

Anyway, by my quick search of Reddit, School II seems to be a fan favorite compared to the original School level of the first game. One person commented to say that “there’s way too much open space in School 1.” Also, there’s a severe lack of runaway golf carts in the original – a staple of every campus!

4. Balamb Garden
Final Fantasy 8
(PS1, 1999)

If you’ve always wanted to be a mercenary when you grow up, look no further than Balamb Garden! Here you can train to become part of “SeeD” which stands for… uhhhh… actually, I’m not sure it stands for anything. I think it’s supposed to be a metaphor about gardening. And, the capital D is just for show.

One of the interesting aspects of Final Fantasy 8 is that instead of earning money through random encounters, you are actually paid a salary at regular intervals throughout the game. The higher your SeeD rank, the more money you earn. To increase your rank, you return to the classroom to take generic “Yes or No” exams about your adventure. So, I got out my real life pen and paper to cheat my way through all 30 tests. With all that mercenary work to do, I can’t spend time with trivial matters like studying!

3. Yasogami High School
Persona 4
(PS2, 2008)

I’ve never played a Persona game before, but it seems like something I might really enjoy.

In this 4th adventure (5th in the series), you play as a teenager who gets wrapped up in a mysterious circumstance where an urban legend turns out to be true. Apparently, if you watch too much TV, you die! Seriously, though, the plot seems wild, and it involves some reverse Poltergeist/The Ring-type lore where you have to literally climb in and out of televisions in order to figure out what’s going on.

But first, in true anime fashion, you spend a few hours attending classes, making friends, and joining clubs at the Yasogami High School in the game’s main setting of Inaba. The game’s length sits at about 70+ hours, so you’ve got plenty of time for activities!

It’s official. I’m intrigued. And it’s only $20 on the Nintendo eShop. Should I go for it??

2. San Romero High School
Lollipop Chainsaw
(PS3/Xbox 360, 2012)

Do you remember your 18th birthday? My Mom threw me a surprise party that was attended by basically everyone I knew, and then my high school cover band gave a concert for all of our guests. I felt like a star.

Juliet Starling’s 18th birthday, however, was interrupted by a full-on zombie apocalypse (wait, did I forget to put this game on our previous collaboration??). Lucky for her, she just happens to come from a long line of zombie hunters. Now it’s up to this spunky cheerleader, armed with her trusty bedazzled chainsaw, to rid the halls of San Romero High School of the walking dead (all while maintaining a 3.4 GPA!).

Honestly, though, going to school can sometimes make me feel like a zombie anyway – especially when Mr. Fitzgibbon says we’ve got a math test today.

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Honorable Mentions:

Mikie
(Arcade, 1984)

Avatar High
(Flash Game, 2007)

Snow Wood Boarding School
Earthbound
(SNES, 1994)

Hill Valley High School
Back to the Future
(NES, 1989)

Hogwarts Legacy
(Various, 2023)

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1. Bully
(PS2, 2006)

Hands down, if you ask me to think of a game with a “school” theme, I will always think of Bully first. Essentially a Grand Theft Auto set in academia, Bully gives you control of James “Jimmy” Hopkins as he attempts to the climb the ranks of the classic cliques at Bullworth Academy boarding school (home of the Bullhorns, complete with a totally non-threatening gargoyle statue sitting atop the school’s front gate!).

While the title kind of makes it seem like it’s a game about causing shenanigans as a teenager, the central plot revolves largely around putting a stop to the mistreatment of students around the academy. The preppies, the greasers, the nerds, the jocks – even the town gets involved at one point. Okay, maybe it does rely on quite a bit of deception and violence to achieve this goal.

Within the first hour or so of the game, Jimmy beats up a trio of boys who are blocking the dorms, he acquires an arsenal of stink bombs, and he pelts kids by use of a slingshot in the auditorium (to be fair, this is in an attempt to allow a student to give a speech while onlookers try to stop it from happening).

Naturally, due to the content of the game, there was a lot of controversy surrounding its release. While it ultimately avoided being banned, the concern was understandable. A 2019 article from pluggedin.com summed it up nicely:

“The game has its share of profanity (“d–n,” “b–ch,” “b–tard” and some misuses of God’s name). However, although there are plenty of punches thrown, Bully‘s violence is tame in comparison to GTA and doesn’t rely on knives, guns or rocket launchers. Yes, you lie, cheat, steal, rebel against authority and hit people with stink bombs, bottle rockets and slingshots (immoral choices that are all rewarded) but at least nobody dies.”

https://www.pluggedin.com/game-reviews/bully/

In the end, it’s still just a fantasy with a plot no crazier than the likes of Wednesday, The Politician, and Scream Queens. Bullworth Academy may not be for everyone, but its connection to the trials and tribulations of life at school certainly is memorable!

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Thanks for stopping by to read my post! And thanks again to Kim of Later Levels for joining me in this collaboration! Please make sure to check out her page. I really enjoyed one of her recent articles about her experience with Sea of Thieves!

Can you think of any other notable schools in video games? Leave me a reply and tell me about it! Also, if you’re enjoying my content, consider giving me a follow or subscribe to me via e-mail to have content delivered directly to you!

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